Summary of Winter's Heart Seiera: We have discovered the Black Ajah. Pevara: Yes, we must proceed carefully and slowly. Yukiri: Very slowly. Saerin: And very carefully. Pevara: And then maybe we wonÕt have to do anything until the Black Ajah kills us all. ----------- Elayne: I must hire mercenaries for the Royal Guard, or the people will think I cannot control the city, and they will rebel. Dyelin: The Aiel in the city would have controlled the city for you before you sent them away. Elayne: But Aiel are foreigners. The people hate foreigners, and would have rebelled. Dyelin: Most mercenaries are foreigners. Elayne: But they are MY foreigners. And I must hire all women to be in my personal bodyguard. Women with special breast-shaped armor. Dyelin: Because youÕre an idiot, and if the people think that you are smarter than they are, they will feel threatened and get angry and rebel? Elayne: Precisely. ------------- Elayne: My raised chin will teach you some manners. Taim: My folded arms will deflect your raised chin. Elayne: My icy stare will fend off your folded arms. Taim: My arrogant half-smile will defuse your icy stare. Elayne: My turned back will rebuff your half-smile. Taim: My veiled threats will turn back your turned back. Elayne: My girlish giggling will parry your veiled threats. Tee-hee. Birgitte & Dyelin: Tee-hee. Taim: You bore me. Elayne: ItÕs working. ------------ Nadere: You must enter the sister ceremony by getting fully naked. That is the Aiel way. It is a sacred, ancient tradition. Elayne: The Aiel way seems a lot like the Aes Sedai way, and the Ebou Dar way, and the Sea Folk way. Nadere: Naked women are powerful. Taim: Yes, they are. Now show your power. Elayne: I know itÕs a sacred, ancient tradition, but IÕm Elayne. Nadere: Then wear this cloak. Amys: Abracadabra. You two are now sisters. Elayne: Light, I have found my sister! Aviendha: We really are bored. Taim: IÕm not. ------------ Reene Harfor: I would like Halwin Norry the accountant to become my brother. Amys: Get naked. Abracadabra. Brother and sister. ------------- Flinn: I would like Eben Hopwill to become my son. Amys: Naked. Abracadabra. Father and son. ------------- Loial: I would like this plant to become my own plant. Amys: Naked. Abracadabra. Ogier and plant. ------------ Elyas: Something tells me this Prophet is insane. Perrin: Yes. Something about putting two and two together tells me I get four. Elyas: Yes, I never trusted two and two. Bloody numbers. ------------ Berelain: You were frozen, so I helped you by taking off your clothes and putting you in my tent. Perrin: You have a unique way of helping people. I feel strangely satisfied. Berelain: Oh, I helped myself too. Abracadabra. ------------ Masema: Your taÕveren-ness has forced me to accept Travelling to find your wife. Perrin: Strange that yesterday, my taÕveren-ness couldnÕt force you to accept Travelling to join the Dragon Reborn. Masema: Must have been switched off. ------------- Cadsuane: I must ignore the Dragon Reborn. Sorilea: Why are you ignoring him? Cadsuane: Because he threatened me when I threatened him. Sorilea: How will you ignore him? Cadsuane: By following him around. Sorilea: Following him around is a strange way to ignore him. Cadsuane: By always being around him, I will make him truly see how much I am ignoring him. I will stand next to him, but then I will turn my head the other way. Or if he says, ÒHey, Cadsuane,Ó I will say, ÒWas that the wind?Ó That will teach him whatever it is I am trying to teach him. Soriliea: You have no idea what you are doing, do you? Cadsuane: No, but that will not stop me from acting important. Sorilea: Perhaps you should make up a plan. Cadsuane: Okay. My plan is to use my ignoring of him to teach him to laugh, and then teach him to cry. Sorilea: How will you do this? Cadsuane: With my back turned to him, I will crack a couple of jokes, and then back-kick him in the shin. ------------- Birgitte: You almost got yourself killed by leaving me behind again, when you wandered around the streets alone. You need protection. Elayne: How dare you. IÕve never needed protection, except for trapped by Liandrin at Falme, the bandits in Cairhien, the Black Ajah in Tear, Moghedien in Tanchico, Ronde Macura in Amadicia, and the gholam in Ebou Dar. Now donÕt give me any bodyguards. Daved Hanlon: Need help with your latest attackers, my lady? Elayne: Certainly. And how may I reward you? Daved Hanlon: Let me have ample chances to assassinate you. Elayne: Certainly. ------------- Elayne: Rand, I love you. Now get me naked. Rand: ShouldnÕt there be some romance or spontaneity in this? Elayne: No. Amys: Get naked. Abracadabra. Dragon and eighteen-year old unwed mother. ------------ Nynaeve: So how is your neverending march to Tar Valon? Egwene: Great. WeÕre actually marching in place, so weÕll never get there. Nynaeve: That's good. For a second, I thought one of us women was actually going to DO something. Egwene: Now youÕre being as wool-headed as a man! Nynaeve: I know. It must be marriage. Well, IÕm off to being turned upside-down by Windfinders. -------------- Thom: You have a week to leave town. How is your neverending evacuation going? Mat: Great. IÕm actually creating more impossible work for myself to do, which will help delay my leaving, and probably help get me caught. Thom: Good. For a second, I thought one of us men was going to DO something. Mat: No. IÕve learned to be as wool-headed as the women. Well, IÕm off to help rescue seven strangers using some dresses and a smile. ---------------------------- Rochaid: You are as foolish as a newborn puppy. Rand: You are as dead as a man with my fist in his throat. --------------- Lan: Nynaeve has sacrificed herself for you. Rand: How? Lan: To be near you, she lets Cadsuane call her ÒAccepted.Ó Rand: That sounds horrible. Maybe next time, she can be the one who takes a never-healing, near-mortal wound, and I can be called ÒAccepted.Ó Lan: I donÕt know if you could take the pain. ------------ Min: Fain challenges you to a fight. Rand: I will be there. A trap isnÕt a trap, if you know itÕs a trap. Min: Like a chair isnÕt a chair, if you know itÕs a chair? Rand: Exactly. Min: So what are you sitting on? Rand: Not a chair. Min: Because you know itÕs a chair? Rand: Exactly. Min: Then you are not an idiot. ------------ Fain: This time, we shall finish it, alÕThor! Rand: Yes, we shall, my mortal enemy. Fain: Only one man shall survive. Rand: Prepare to be locked in a deadly dance. Fain: Of death. [THEY FIGHT.] Rand: Good fight. See you later. Fain: You too. [THEY RUN.] Lan: DidnÕt we have a safe exit plan, involving climbing down to lower buildings? Rand: A safe exit plan isnÕt a safe exit plan, if you know itÕsÉ Lan: Oh, shut up. ---------- Elza: The Great Lord will be happy with me if I kill Dashiva. He couldnÕt be anyone important. Dark Lord: ELZA. FACE THE BIG VOICE. Elza: Damn. Dark Lord: GET NAKED. ABRACADABRA. YOU ARE A TOAD. ---------- -Credit to Isam of Infogrames WoT forums