Summary of The Eye of the World 

Too busy to read the whole thing?  Then check this out! 
With respect to Book-A-Minute, this is a bit more detailed.  (And less condescending.) 

Rand:  I'm a young lad from a quaint little village. 

Tam:  Yes, you are. 

Emond's Fielders:  Rumors of strange things afoot.  Wolves howling.  Winds blowing.  Trouble a-brewin.'  Train comin.' 

Egwene:  Rand al'Thor!  What do you think you're doing? 

Rand:  Aw, shucks, hi, Egwene. 

Moiraine:  I am mysterious.  You will know all you need to know.  The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. 

Thom:  I'm an old juggler with a big white mustache. 

Trollocs:  Oook!  Aaak!  Errrrr! 

Moiraine:  Come with me, you three. 

Lan:  Don't even know how to fight Shadowspawn.  Dumb sheepherders. 

Rand, Mat, and Perrin:  We'll come with you. 

Egwene:  Me too!  Weeee! 

Rand:  It might me dangerous. 

Egwene:  Rand al'Thor!  You can't tell me what to do! 

Rand:  Maybe you could tell me what this is all about. 

Moiraine:  You will know what you need to know.  The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. 

Rand:  Thanks. 

Egwene:  This is scary!  Rand al'Thor!  You got me into this! 

Rand:  Gee whiz, Egwene. 

Moiraine:  Dreams can be dangerous.  Have you all had any scary dreams? 

Mat:  I don't know if we can trust Aes Sedai.  Let's keep it a secret. 

Rand and Perrin:  Good idea. 

Nynaeve:  You are dragging them into some Aes Sedai plot! 

Moiraine:  Maybe I should have left them to die in Emond's Field. 

Nynaeve:  We would have been happy that way! 

Moiraine:  DO NOT go out into Shadar Logoth, or touch anything! 

Mat:  Let's go out into Shadar Logoth and touch things! 

Rand and Perrin:  Good idea. 

Moiraine:  That was dangerous. 

Lan:  Don't even know how to fight Mordeth.  Dumb farmboys. 

Egwene:  Rand al' Thor!  You are a woolhead! 

Rand:  Holy moly, Egwene. 

Mat:  I'm sweaty and pale and grabbing my dagger. 

Rand:  Sounds good. 

Thom:  I once had nephew Owyn, who died because of Aes Sedai.  Now I must go fight a Myrddraal.  See you in Book 2. 

Mat:  I'm still sweaty and pale and grabbing my dagger. 

Rand:  That's fine.  I'll play my flute for our supper. 

Lan:  Nice tracking. 

Nynaeve:  I'm secretly blushing. 

Perrin:  I'm talking to Wolves. 

Egwene:  I'm dancing with beautiful Aram. 

Lan:  We must rescue Perrin and Egwene from the Whitecloaks.  You must hold my hand.  To help the rescue. 

Nynaeve:  Yes, I must hold your hand.  To help the rescue.  I hope there aren't spots of color blossoming on my cheeks. 

Master Bunt:  Legend has it that Tigraine disappeared after the old queen died.  Soon after that Luc disappeared into the Blight, and Taringail died, leaving young Morgase on the throne. 

Rand:  Couldn't you just leave it all in a big family tree inside the cover? 

Master Gill:  Legend has it Old Thom was closer to the queen that was proper.  Then he disappeared and when he later returned, Queen Morgase was mad, so he fled the city, a step ahead of the headsman's axe. 

Rand:  Couldn't you just leave it in a big exposition section inside the cover? 

Mat:  I'm even sweatier and paler, and more crazy. 

Rand:  Good work.  Well, I have to go meet the royal family. 

Elayne:  I've got long golden tresses. 

Rand:  Jinkies, Elayne. 

Morgase:  This boy is dangerous. 

Lord Bryne:  Yes, he is. 

Elaida:  Yes, he is. 

Morgase:  Good.  Let him go. 

Gawyn:  You look like an Aielman...oh, that's crazy talk.  Never mind. 

Rand:  Okay. 

Everyone:  Yayyyy!  We're all together! 

Egwene:  You're telling us you talked with the Daughter-Heir!  Rand al'Thor!  I am making presumptions about you, and therefore must yell at you.  Just wait until Elayne, Nynaeve and I do this for the entire series. 

Rand:  Gosh, Egwene... 

Perrin:  We heard a second-hand story about a dying man who said the Dark One means to blind the Eye of the World. 

Loial:  I heard the same story, from an different second-hand source. 

Moiraine:  Therefore, we must go to the Eye of the World! 

Agelmar:  Legend has it that Lan is the last of the Malkieri.  You see, two score years ago... 

Rand:  Couldn't you just add this to the big family tree section in the front cover? 

Agelmar:  Use a Post-It. 

Nynaeve:  I have held your hand.  I have brought you tea.  I cannot shame myself any further! 

Lan:  I am not emotional.  My emotions are cold like a winter blizzard.  Loving me is like loving a frozen ice sculpture.  That is why I have fallen head over heels in love with you, and you with me.  Now excuse me while I martyr myself. 

Rand:  Aginor, being the least significant Forsaken until you are reborn, you are now dead. 

Aginor:  See you in book 6.  I mean, "Noooo." 

Rand:  You too, Balthamel. 

Balthamel:  Mmmmph. 

Mat:  We found some things.  Bloody ashes. 

Egwene:  Matrim Cauthon!  You better... 

Lan:  Here's a gag. 

Readers:  Yay! 

Moiraine:  See you in Book 2. 

    -Credit to Isam of the Infogrames WoT forums